Love Gives Strength

Q : What is the most important thing in your life?
A : God ofcourse...

Q : If you already have God, what will you do with you life?
A : I will do everything He says to me, everything good that pleases Him.

Hhmmm.. those are the typical answers that most Christians would give if they are asked those 2 questions. But the problem is, do we really do everything God says to us? Do we really do what pleases Him? Looking at the fact that our lives are not as simple and smooth as we thought it would be when we first accept Jesus as our savior. In fact, life doesn't seem to be different. I think it's just how the way we think about life itself. And the benefit of having Jesus in our life should make our life easier.

Talking about easier life... I should've thought like that long long ago. But yet, I didn't open my eyes of the truth that had set me free. Free from all burdens, free from all stresses, free from sadness, and free from sin. But you know.... I am still having all of them. My mistake is... I didn't give them all to God... instead, I keep them on my back, carry them everywhere everytime... and then I started complaining about life, even more about God. Whereas, God didn't do anything wrong. He was there all along... waiting for me to ask Him for help. Waiting to take my burdens away.

Today I saw a very inspirational story on television. I am not sure if it's any relation to Christian life, but it really has touched my Christian side.
It was about a young man living in America. He doesn't have any parents anymore. His only relative is his sister. But at the age of 20 he had to take the burden of his dieing sister's sons. And when his sister passed away, instead of going back to his normal happy youth college life, he struggled hard to get the right to keep his nephews. Going to trials didn't make him stop strugling. And the fact that he really loves his nephews has touched so many people. It's about the way he take cares of his nephews with no complaints at all. It's about his decision to make his nephews the main priority in his life, when other 20 year old men would rather choose to have fun with their life. And it's about his sincere love to his family. He only lives in a very small apartement, and by working as a grave taker doesn't give him much money to take care of his nephews, while children below 6 years old really need a lot of attentions and needs. As if the burden wasn't enough, the fact that the oldest nephew has a mental problem doesn't stop him for trying his best. And what's really nice is that he has 3 faithful friends who are willing to help him taking care of the nephews while he's working late.
I hardly believe that someone would choose to leave his youth for the sake of 3 little boys who are not at all his children. He dropped out of college so he can work and get his nephews' needs covered. And he even said that he doesn't think of having any girlfriend because his nephews are his first priority. It was really touching, how someone can have such a sincere heart for his family...

I learn a lot.... I learn A lot...

Thank you Jesus for giving me a good lesson :)

Good Relationship With Others

Overall, I am happy today :)
And I am really grateful I can have so many smiles in the midst of my stressful time.

I had a wish yesterday, when I was at the church. I had this pretty impulsive need of wanting to have a good relationship with others. Want to tell you, especially with my boyfriend's family. With my own family, that's a must. But I feel that on the next stage, his family will be my family too. And I have been trying to make a good relationship and wishing it will always be. I am glad it is for now :)

But you know, we are all special and unique. We have our own different minds, likes and dislikes, and different point of view. Sometimes those things might cause unexpected disunion and clashes. I, myself, never want to have any clash with anyone. As for what I have experienced, it was not a good feeling to have one. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night for the guilt. Not to mention, that it might hurt someone's feelings. I am quite sensitive about this. But sometimes, and most of the times, we are so easily have clashes with our own family. I assume it's because we live close to each other, see each other everyday, know our worst traits, and that could easily create disagreements. But I realize, the more we know someone better, the more we should understand him/her. And one thing really important, we can never ask someone to change. We would be very easily disappointed, if we always expect someone to be as we want them to be.

So, like I said, every people are unique. There are not even two person really similar 100%. So, disagreement and incompatibility will always be around us. The matter now is that we should live as God wants us to be.... understanding, patient and full of love.
God has always been so understanding to us. There are billions of people in the world with different traits, mind, and desirability, and God amazingly understands all. Can you imagine that at this point now, this second, there could be billions of wishes and complaints, and God is so patient and full of love. He had taught us how to be a good Christian. There would be no fights or quarrels if we live with understanding to each other.

I have been tussling with the fact that I have to be patient when I found my friend have different opinion than mine. And the fact that her decision has cost me losing my dream was quite shaken me. I was about to crumble.... losing many tears. But that's not how it was supposed to be dealt. I thank God that when I prayed and cried to Him, He listened and more over, He gave me the strength to still stand up, and more amazingly, He gave me an ability to see it in a different view, positive view. So, that's why I said I am really happy I can have smiles today :)

God is great, my friends!!
And He blesses us all! :)

Take Time 2 Talk 2 GOD

Dear friends,

It's always such a nice moment when we can have a quiet moment to pray and talk to God. Lately I wasn't being such a nice girl to let my self have that kind of moment. Until this afternoon, I heard a news and suddenly it felt like my bones were losing their ability to support my body.
Actually, it was not a new news. I have heard about it about a week ago, or more. And that first day I got the news, I cried. It was about something that I really want badly, but because of the news, I cant have it sooner than I expected. Well, I have to say I was wrong at this too. My mistake was that I didn't speak out what I want so that people know. So the possibility to make it real is small. And the other person who got it first, kept on spoken out since the first time she wanted it. I was already lost long ago actually. And maybe that losing feeling had made me unenthusiastic anymore.

I realize that I have to accept this reality. Well, this kind of thing didn't happen to me once before. I was able to deal with them smoothly. But why this one is so hard... I am still trying to figure that out. Maybe my desperation for this need is just bigger than before. You know, when you just want something really beautiful, something that will make you happier than ever, you just cant get it out of you mind. That's exactly how I feel.

You know, it might just be similar with the way we used to pray. We have to speak out what we want. Even though God already knows what we want, but it's always nice for God when we speak out and talk to Him. I realize that I didn't do it on this one. I don't know.... it's just when I try to speak it out, it felt kind of wrong somehow. Well, maybe it is wrong. And if my demand really is wrong, and I am not suppose to receive it at the moment, then I am fully grateful. God is leading me to the right path. Not that I feel right about not speaking out this demand, but I should still see this matter in the positive way.

Now, I learn, that no matter what, just speak out your mind to God. Let Him decide whether its wrong or right. And when you can't have what you really want, then don't be disappointed. It's good that God doesn't give you what you are not supposed to get. What if you get what you're not supposed to get and everything just turn out up side down (worse!)? No I don't want that, neither do you, right?

So, my friends, I will just let the tears go by, and see what's ahead of me. I am pretty sure God is righteous to give what is suitable for me. Even at the right time and the perfect time. I will just take this case as an encouragement to make me more diligent and success =")

God bless us all!

Starting The 40 days of Pre-Easter

Starting yesterday, all churches started the 40 days of pre-Easter time. Yesterday evening I attended the Ash Wednesday mass at church, and really got knocked. I realize that it was not just an ordinary mass and not just an ordinary Wednesday. To be honest, from all of my days being a Christian, this is the first time of really being serious on preparing Easter. The church was absolutely full, which I thought it wouldn't be. At that moment I entered the church and bent my knee to pray, I already felt the vibrant of Jesus' present. It was different than the days before. I felt sadness. Sad of remembering that thousands of years ago it was the time when Jesus' suffering began before He was crucified. But at the same time, I felt the amazement towards Jesus, on everything He is and what He has done. And how grateful I was for being there in the church together with other devoted christians, still alive, and still enjoying God's love.

What I want to share to you is that the pre-Easter time is a time for repentness, to cleanse ourselves, and to start realizing our bads and discard them. The 40 days time of fasting and praying would be the perfect time to do all that (but actually we should do that not only at pre-Easter time) if we haven't yet repent. I realized that through baptized we were called to live as God's will. But what happens most is that our life are far and away from God's will, because of the sins we have done. To be able to realize this and getting the chance to repent are really a blessing. It is our opportunity to get back to right path and get closer to Him.

So, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let's welcome and go through this blessing moment with all our heart.

God bless us all!

Take It , You Can't Leave It

I want to tell you something about life. Well, maybe you know that most of the times we can't choose what we want to be, and we can't have what we want. And yes it makes us disappointed. And then we would start complaining, why does my life is like this or like that, why this and why that. And then we would try hard to get out of the situation, and get in to the situation we want. But the problem is... is that what God wants?

Apparently, when I read my devotional book, this thing doesn't always happen for us, the common christians, but it also happened to Jeremiah the prophet. I mean... "THE" prophet. As I read Jeremiah 20:7-18, reading the chapter's title interest me : "Jeremiah's Complaint"

"O Lord, You decieved me, and I was deceived; You overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction. So the word of the Lord has brought me insult and reproach all day long. But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in His name, His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." (Jeremiah 20:7-9)

It makes me understand, that one cannot choose his path. God had chosen the right path for us. That's what we should believe. I have many complains everyday. I have many wants, and many things that happened each day didn't come up as I wanted. I had times when I cried and asked the Lord to give me another path that would be easier for me to go through. But one thing I know now for sure. I say it again, He had chosen the right path for me. No matter how hard it would look like. No matter how much tears it would cost me. I should believe that the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior. He himself that would fight for me.

My mistake all these times was that I tried to fight by myself, with my own power. I tried to change things around as I wanted, and apparently that has made things harder.

If I can take an end line, when we're facing this kind of situation, there is no other way but to accept it ungrudgingly. If we keep on striving against it, it would be useless. It would just be exhausting, evenmore it might add the problem. So when we can't change the situation, what we can do is to change our attitude and view towards that situation. The key is in the faith that our life is always under God's love and control.

A Heart of Gold

On Sundays, I watch my favorite Indonesian talk show on tv, just like I did yesterday. It is Kick Andy show. The show usually talks around social issues that happen in my country, Indonesia. And what it was talking about yesterday not only has touched my heart but also has opened my eyes to what I am.

It should not be surprising to know that there are still people with pure heart and good intentions towards those people in need. Been introduced and knowing about love that Jesus had spread through His men for all centuries, supposedly has made the world filled with loving people. But as I realize, there are not much love around.

Living in Indonesia is one blessing for me. There are a lot of things here that can make one realize that one should be grateful for every single thing that has received. Christians life are not far away from complains and grudges. Now that's the problem.

Why should we complain about our dress or shoes, while there are people in the streets wearing nothing but a thin cloth and a broken shoe or even no shoes to wear.
Why should we complain about the food we eat today, while there are people who don't have any money to buy food, when they can only eat leftovers food from the trash.
Why should we complain about our small house of a leaking roof, while there are people who sleeps on the streets with no roof, no protection from wind, rain, and sun.
Why should we complain about our job, while there are still many people who don't have a job or couldn't have a job because of self-lackness.
Why should we complain about our friend who doesn't want to apologize while we don't even remember that we have many mistakes to ask God for forgiveness.
And there are still many other complains we have made, without knowing and understanding that there are many people who live in suffering, more suffered than what we could experience.

I've seen children in the streets, very small, about age of 3-12, who rolling around begging for a coin, no shoes to wear, under the rain, because their parents can't afford to buy them food, not even school. We could do something for them. If we can't give them money, at least food can fulfill their hunger.
I've also seen those madpeople walking in the streets with no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet and very dirty. Our government has laws written about those madpeople that they will be put in the appropriate place to be taken care of. But it's a matter of heart and conscience. Many people would run away when they see madman in the streets. Well, some feel scared and some feel disgusted. For me, yes I feel scared sometimes. That's why when I watched the testimony of a man who opened up a facility to take care of them, I was amazed and touched.

It was said, Simon Nunai, a very humble man. This man, from Nusa Tenggara Timur, surely has a pure heart. With persevering, he continuously looking for some madpeople in the streets. Those abandoned special people are put in a house called "Pondok Kasih" or "Cottage of Love" in Tigaraksa, Tangerang, Indonesia. Those people are bathe and cleaned, because living in the streets for years, never bathe has caused them have skin diseases. Helped by a voluntary doctor, Dr. Vonny, those diseases are taken care of until they are cured. Through fasting and praying, Simon tries to heal those people. Amazingly through time and dedication, some of them are healed and now they can talk and do activities like normal people. They can even witness God's love. If only nobody cares about their life, those madpeople will keep staying in the streets waiting for their time to die, without knowing about God's love and power to heal.
"I do this because there's a calling from God," said Simon when he was asked why did he want to do it.

What an amazing story. Could we have a heart like that. God said just a simple heart who wants to do simple things for the least of these brothers. I was knocked.

The Children Of Light

Today my devotional comes from Ephesians 5:1-21. It's about The Children Of Light, and how I can be one. There are many things I should do, but God always give the chance for me to fulfill all the actions =")

Here I want to share you one by one, about what do we have to do as Children of Light, over the verses.

1. Be imitators of God

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

(vs 1-2)

From these verses I learn that I have to live a life of love, which would make me the imitator of God.

2. Be Holy

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

(vs 3)

"For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolater - has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God."

(vs 5)

3. Have a thanksgiving lips

"Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."

(vs 4)

"always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

(vs 20)

4. Always pleases The Lord

"and find out what pleases The Lord." (vs 10)

5. Should not be lazy

"...Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you."

(vs 14b)

6. Be wise with our days

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

(vs 15-17)

7. Be filled with Spirit always

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."

(vs 18)

8. Praise the Lord all the time

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord."

(vs 19)

9. Make peace with one another

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (vs 21)

Be An Encouraging Butterfly

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess His name."
Hebrews 13:3

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."
Rome 14:19

It's obvious from what I received this morning that I have to be an encouraging person. Here in this context I believe I should do it with my mouth. That I should use it to witness about God's grace and also to encourage others with good deed. But what I am so warned is that I am mostly use my mouth to complain, complain and express my anger. Ohhhh what a sin... they are not at all encouraging to others who see me complaining and angry. I think, for all I have lived, those are the two things that are very hard for me to deal with. I would just cry at night when I realized that I was angry to someone that day or too many complains... but why did the next day I do it again? I know what's right but sometimes it seems I am blinded and spontaneously do the wrong thing. Ohhh... I hope, I hope and I pray I pray to be a better person each day... a person that can be a good witness for God, from my acts and my words.

God bless us all!

Reflection : Living As Witnesses Of Faith

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Acts 1:8

Today I learn and remember the lesson that I got when I first accept Jesus as my savior. Back it was about 10 years ago. Well I admit, I have been away from God, I am not as obedient as I was back then. I guess this happens a lot. When I repented for the first time and accepted Jesus as my savior, my heart was filled with graceful and the spirit to share God's love and words was so enflamed. But then slowly but sure, trials and temptations come, and the flame just got lessened...

When I think of that, it makes me feel so sorry for my self. And then I realize how sad God would be, and already has, for what I have become and for what has happened to me. If I just tried to open my eyes to see what God has done in my life each day, I would see tons of blessings. I believe that God never stop in action, of doing what's best for me. Even for the simplest thing that's happen in my days. But many times I forgot. I would woke up very tired in the morning. I would just complaint and feeling lazy of waking up. But God gives me the strength to go through that day. And I would forget to give thanks when I sleep that night. How sad.. and yes it is sad to think of. Its just as simple as to just say "Thank you, Lord", and I didn't do it. Let alone to be God's witness to share God's love and blessing... I didn't even realize them.

There's a story in the bible about the Samaritan woman who met Jesus at Jacob's well. It was said to be a special encounter. At that place, the woman realized and saw who she is; a sinful person with lots of self-shortage (This should be the beginning of what I should experience; a personal encounter with Jesus). Next, that encounter lead the woman to the admittance that Jesus is God. That had made her "left her water jar" and witnessing about Jesus to everyone. I should also leave my worries, my pleasures and richness that I honestly been thinking to pursue lately. And starting to think more of God.

It is not a mistake at all, when I heard my priest said that walking with God is a lot of fun. Although we see with our eyes that the world is cruel and the problems are many, but God always helps those who puts trust in Him.

Bless ya!

A Prayer

Dear Lord,

I ask for Your blessing, so that I can make the best use of my life not for my own interests that are wrong most of the times...

Teach me to take time to pray and read Your Gospel.
So that everyday I can use it to do Your will...

God's Butterfly's 1st Words

Shallom,

Finally I have my religious side on blog =") It was quite a battle actually. To be honest, I don't think I am yet to be a God's butterfly. There are more downs in my life than the ups. But I can still be grateful for the ups though =") I admit that God has been very nice to me. Through all my sinful days, He is still here with me, being absolutely patient waiting for my repent over and over again. Because of God's kindness to me, it gives me the yearning to share my life of how God guides me each and every day. Or probably share the Gospel that I receive every day.

There might be unpleasant day... not I hope... but afterall, I am still an ordinary girl huhu... I'm trying to be a better person each day though.

Oh and, dear sisters and brothers in God, please feel free to leave any comments that may encourage me, so let us walk together in God's path =")

Bless ya!