Take Time 2 Talk 2 GOD

Dear friends,

It's always such a nice moment when we can have a quiet moment to pray and talk to God. Lately I wasn't being such a nice girl to let my self have that kind of moment. Until this afternoon, I heard a news and suddenly it felt like my bones were losing their ability to support my body.
Actually, it was not a new news. I have heard about it about a week ago, or more. And that first day I got the news, I cried. It was about something that I really want badly, but because of the news, I cant have it sooner than I expected. Well, I have to say I was wrong at this too. My mistake was that I didn't speak out what I want so that people know. So the possibility to make it real is small. And the other person who got it first, kept on spoken out since the first time she wanted it. I was already lost long ago actually. And maybe that losing feeling had made me unenthusiastic anymore.

I realize that I have to accept this reality. Well, this kind of thing didn't happen to me once before. I was able to deal with them smoothly. But why this one is so hard... I am still trying to figure that out. Maybe my desperation for this need is just bigger than before. You know, when you just want something really beautiful, something that will make you happier than ever, you just cant get it out of you mind. That's exactly how I feel.

You know, it might just be similar with the way we used to pray. We have to speak out what we want. Even though God already knows what we want, but it's always nice for God when we speak out and talk to Him. I realize that I didn't do it on this one. I don't know.... it's just when I try to speak it out, it felt kind of wrong somehow. Well, maybe it is wrong. And if my demand really is wrong, and I am not suppose to receive it at the moment, then I am fully grateful. God is leading me to the right path. Not that I feel right about not speaking out this demand, but I should still see this matter in the positive way.

Now, I learn, that no matter what, just speak out your mind to God. Let Him decide whether its wrong or right. And when you can't have what you really want, then don't be disappointed. It's good that God doesn't give you what you are not supposed to get. What if you get what you're not supposed to get and everything just turn out up side down (worse!)? No I don't want that, neither do you, right?

So, my friends, I will just let the tears go by, and see what's ahead of me. I am pretty sure God is righteous to give what is suitable for me. Even at the right time and the perfect time. I will just take this case as an encouragement to make me more diligent and success =")

God bless us all!

Starting The 40 days of Pre-Easter

Starting yesterday, all churches started the 40 days of pre-Easter time. Yesterday evening I attended the Ash Wednesday mass at church, and really got knocked. I realize that it was not just an ordinary mass and not just an ordinary Wednesday. To be honest, from all of my days being a Christian, this is the first time of really being serious on preparing Easter. The church was absolutely full, which I thought it wouldn't be. At that moment I entered the church and bent my knee to pray, I already felt the vibrant of Jesus' present. It was different than the days before. I felt sadness. Sad of remembering that thousands of years ago it was the time when Jesus' suffering began before He was crucified. But at the same time, I felt the amazement towards Jesus, on everything He is and what He has done. And how grateful I was for being there in the church together with other devoted christians, still alive, and still enjoying God's love.

What I want to share to you is that the pre-Easter time is a time for repentness, to cleanse ourselves, and to start realizing our bads and discard them. The 40 days time of fasting and praying would be the perfect time to do all that (but actually we should do that not only at pre-Easter time) if we haven't yet repent. I realized that through baptized we were called to live as God's will. But what happens most is that our life are far and away from God's will, because of the sins we have done. To be able to realize this and getting the chance to repent are really a blessing. It is our opportunity to get back to right path and get closer to Him.

So, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let's welcome and go through this blessing moment with all our heart.

God bless us all!